Grateful.

Things that, in the past, seemed impossible are happening in my life right now.

I can't help but look at the things coming to pass as miracles in my life. I am so blessed, and I am so grateful for everything that the Lord has helped me to work for. I'm so grateful for the strong relationships that I've been able to create with my family, and my friends. 

I think there's just something about November that makes us all realize how truly lucky we are. A couple of weeks ago in nutrition we were talking about third world countries where 18-month-old babies live on the street and fend for themselves because their mother passed away from AIDS or some other terrible disease, or even in giving birth to them. My heart aches for people in situations such as this, and I cannot help but feel selfish for complaining, and worrying about the petty things that I feel are challenges in my life.

 Although I can't help but feel that my problems are so miniscule, and that others are so worse off than me because I truly am the luckiest girl in the world. I do know that the Lord cares about every single person's problems, and even more importantly he cares about our individual feelings. This has been such a comfort in my life, especially in the past few weeks.

 Lately (more like my whole life) I've been so stressed out about getting into the classes that I want and getting my Associates, and getting into my impossible-seeming program. I know that the Lord cares about my education because I care about my education and I'm so grateful for that knowledge.

Every time that something goes wrong in my life the Lord also presents me with a new, amazing opportunity. Most of the time it's something that I've never even thought about before. I'm such a spontaneous person, so I totally understand why these opportunities are so off-the-wall. Haha. But either way, planned or not planned, I'm grateful for all of the opportunities that the Lord has blessed me with, and I'm grateful that he's helped me work hard to achieve everything that I've wanted to achieve up to this point.

I'm so eternally grateful for the parents that I was given. My dad is my literal hero. He is a walking encyclopedia of both secular, and spiritual knowledge. My family always jokes that because my dad never had a son, he had to do his best to work with me. I don't even care though! I'm grateful that he teaches me everything that he knows. I cannot wait for the day that something goes wrong with my car, and I don't have to call my dad to help me fix it. I want to learn all that I can from him so that I can pass on that knowledge to my children. My dad is the ultimate man, and I know that I'll marry someone who is just like him. 

I'm grateful for my mom too! She's always willing to help out, and she loves to try new things with me. She always pushes me to do my best and I would not be the organization-freak that I am today without her influence on my life. 

I'm super grateful for my friends. Even though I feel like I spend practically no time with them, they are the hugest blessing in my life. I'm so lucky to have friends who uplift me, and are great examples. I hope that one day I can be as great of an example to them as they are to me, because they are stellar. 

Strange as it may sound, I'm so, so thankful for the Word of Wisdom. I've literally tried to talk myself into bearing my testimony about it like the past two times in sacrament meeting, but I haven't been able to work up the courage. I'm so passionate about the Word of Wisdom, and I can testify to you that it's true doctrine from God. Because I've been learning about the body, and how things work, and what things do, I've gained so much knowledge about how harmful things such as alcohol, drugs, caffeine, and a non-nutrient-dense diet are to your body. One of my close, close friends just passed away from cirrhosis of the liver because of over-consumption of alcohol.

Putting the loss of my loved one aside, the Word of Wisdom is completely necessary for a healthy, happy, spiritually sound life. There are so many fragile things in the body, and it's amazing that humans can live as long as we can. When you think about it, there are people born with aneurisms that live into their 70's! Our bodies are fragile enough without adding on the stress of harmful substances. I'm so grateful for the Word of Wisdom, and I'm grateful that I have such a willingness to say no when I'm offered or tempted with alcohol and other damaging things. And trust me I have been.

I'm grateful to know that I'm never alone. I've felt super lonely lately... I drive alone, I cook alone, and I think that I talk to people in maybe 3 out of my 7 classes. I hardly ever see my family, and It's a rare, weekend-only occasion when I see my friends. I'm grateful for the knowledge though that I'm never alone in anything, and company is just a knee away.

I could literally go on and on about the things that I'm grateful for, but the bottom line is that I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have such an amazing life, and I have nothing to complain about. Life is good, and I can't wait for my next adventure whatever it may be.

P.S. Everything happens for a reason, and the Lord won't leave you hanging. Promise.

Unbelievable

Let's keep this short and sweet and get to the music. I've been traveling in a car for the past eight hours, which gave me plenty of time to reassess my top ten favorite songs. In no particular order... I give you ten of the best songs on my iPod.

P.S. I am not responsible for all of the crappy non-music-videos. They were all I could find, and hey, I'm just trying to provide you good music... not watching entertainment. ;)

Prehistoric - Now, Now

:: Okay, so I am in love with this song not only because it's melody embodies that high-school love story that every girl secretly wishes for, but because it's one of those songs that you don't need to understand to love. Trust me, I would know. I've read through the lyrics of this song at least a dozen times, and I still don't get it, however it's one of the songs I listen to every time I get in the car.

Look After You - The Fray

:: I'm completely obsessed with the Fray. I have just about every track that they've made, and I can sing all of them word for word (in the car while I'm by myself and at no other time.) This is without a doubt my favorite "Fray Song". I love it because... I mean, let's get real... is this not the epitome of what everyone wants out of a relationship? Someone to look after them, and take care of them, and someone that they can do that for.

.

 Even If It Breaks Your Heart - Eli Young Band

:: So you knew a country song was coming, because I'm a wannabe country girl. I love this song, because it's not about being in love. Okay, well it is... but it's about being in love with what you're passionate about. This song basically tells you to screw all of your doubts, and keep on going for what you want, "even if it breaks your heart", because if you don't... guarantee that you'll regret it.

The A Team - Ed Sheeran

::  Okay guys, come on. Try and tell me that you don't love this song too. When Mikale first made me listen to this song, I was so clueless. Then she explained to me what it was about, and I fell in love. I think that this is one of those songs that can change a persons life. It's so sad, and true, and eye-opening.

 Tiptoe - Imagine Dragons

::This song alone makes me regret not going to any of the Imagine Dragons concerts at GoGo while they were still a small indie band. This is one of my power songs! This is secretly how I want to be in life. I wouldn't be mad being that underestimated girl who makes her way to the top and nobody expects it. After all, "nobody else can take me higher" but myself.

Midnight City - M83

:: This song is one of those instant head-bangers. I listen to this just about every time I'm on the freeway, and I just want to rev up to 100. It's another one of my power songs. I'm a little obsessed with the transition from the bridge to the main melody too. Listen to it. How can you not just want to jump up and dance at that part?

Ohio - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

:: I think that this song has a great feel to it. I'm also a huge fan that it's a song about an actual historic event. It's like subliminal historical messaging haha.

DONE. - The Band Perry

:: This song is so angsty, and powerful! There are a few people in my life that I can apply it to as well. It's a song that can be applied to so many different situations, because it's so gender inspecific! It's a great song to listen (and sing (yell) ) to when you're angry at someone, and trust me I've used it many-a-time.

I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You) - John Mayer

:: This is one of those songs you can just sink into. I'm usually not a fan of this smooth-jazz-like music, but this one is irresistible. I'm pretty sure that John is a Music God, because he has the voice of a raspy angel. This song is like, hey, I don't trust myself with loving you, but I'm probably gonna do it anyway so deal. FINE.

P.s. Note that this song is at least 200x better as the "Live in Los Angeles" track, and in my opinion the only way to listen to it.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer

:: This may or may not be my all time favorite song ever. Even the title is dreamy. John Mayer just has a way with words, and it's no wonder that he's won so many music awards. Listening to his music is like being brain washed, but in a good way. He can take all of my worries away

 P.s. Same applies to this song as the last... "Live in Los Angeles" is the only way to go. In fact, while you're at it just buy yourself the whole CD because it's so worth it. I've had it for years and I've probably listened to the whole thing over 100 times. Not exaggerating on that one.

Item Twenty.

(Here is a picture from high school for full effect)

 

20. Memories of the time that you label “the best time of your life,” which makes you consciously feel as though everything else you do won’t compare or will just be part of an overall downward slope.

I recently read an article that one of my facebook friends posted to her wall. It had a list of 25 things that you keep in your life that are only holding you back. Naturally I was intrigued by the title so I decided to give it a look. Now, granted at least 7 of the items on the list didn't apply to me at all, but as I read down the list I saw one that did.

 Number Twenty. 

It talks about labeling memories from the past as "the best time of your life" which makes all of your future memories less than that. If you know me at all, or have read anything else on this blog you can obviously assess that I was, and still partially am obsessed with my high school years. I seriously would go back; but number twenty made me realize that I can't think of it as the best time of my life, because my life isn't over yet. I have so much more to look forward to, and if I keep looking back, I'm going to miss what's happening in the present.

This was truly something that I had never thought about before, and it really opened my eyes. Lately I've been so pessimistic about everything, because even though I'm trying my hardest, it seems like it's never enough. Now I'm not going to go all psychologist on myself (mostly because I'm in Psych1010 right now and I flipping don't understand it) and say that all of my feelings can be attributed to the fact that I miss high school or anything, but I will say that maybe if I had a different outlook on life, and I started to look forward to things that are going to happen in the future, and even things happening now that my life might be a little bit better. Even if my life isn't a little bit better, I'm sure my attitude would be. 

Now I'm in no way saying that reminiscing is a bad thing because it totally isn't, but it can become a problem if you start to compare every situation that happens in your life to the "best times" of your past.

Everything happens for a reason.

Things will turn out as they should, and chances are that when you look back, things won't be as big of a deal as you initially thought them to be.

I bet you can even find something good that comes out of them.

P.S. Here are those 25 things. Maybe you can find a few to get rid of.

25 Things You Keep In Your Life That Are Only Holding You Back

I wonder if you actually get it.

College has taught me that you have to work really, really hard to get what you want. 

College has tried to make me think that sometimes, even trying your hardest isn't enough. 

I don't think that college is always 100% right.

Enough. That word has been circling around in my head for the past year. 

Have I studied enough?

Do I have enough hours at work?

I don't have enough time with my friends.

Math homework is enough to make me go crazy.

Is there enough money in my account?

Did I attend my own singles ward enough this month not to be considered inactive?

Did I look cute enough for that attractive boy in my history class to take a second glance?

Is a B a good enough grade, or should I re-take the class?

Am I worth enough to get what I want?

:I feel like College, for me, is a state of mind:

Doman and I constantly joke that if we're on our way to a class, and someone asks us where we're going, we always say "College." 

Whenever someone that I haven't seen in a long time asks me what I've been up to, I always way "Oh you know... just College." 

Before high school ended, people told me that often times, the college years of someone's life can be the hardest, and it can especially be hard to stay in tune with the gospel. 

Hold the Phone. 

Now, at the beginning of freshman year, I would have told you that this notion was bonkers. Sure, it's hard to stay in tune with the gospel because of all of the wild parties, and the fact that you're away from your parents because you don't "have" to go to church if you don't want to.

(Not True.)

I didn't think that I would have any problem, or struggle at all continuing to go to church every Sunday, and doing what's right. I'm still living in the same town as my parents, my friends and I don't like those kind of parties, and I love going to church, because I love the gospel.

Now, it's different for everyone but let me give you a little bit of insight into what my probs have been. 

 The Mission Change, and Attending Church.

The Missionary age change is one of the best, and most insightful things that I have witnessed come from the gospel yet, and I am SO proud of all of my friends that have gone on missions. In fact, I'm so proud of all of them that I NEVER want to miss one of their farewells. It's really easy to go to all of the farewells, especially because I go to school in town, and I have access to them every Sunday.

 •Let me first of all tell you that going to a sacrament meeting with your friends, and then going to someone's house straight after to eat and talk is a great thing to do. ONCE IN A WHILE.

Now me, being the supportive friend that I am, just had to do this EVERY Sunday. Sometimes even two, or three times a Sunday! I have been to so many missionary farewells in the past twelve months that I honestly probably couldn't tell you who all left. I sure as heck couldn't tell you where 3/4 of them actually went on their missions.

I am so supportive of anyone who goes on a mission, and I encourage going to their farewells to show them your support, but I also encourage attending your own ward.

I feel that I am at a huge disadvantage in my Singles Ward, because I know almost no one. I've been in that ward for a whole year, and I should already know everyone. A huge part of why I loved going to church, and attending church activities in high school was because I loved the people that I associated with. I knew them, I loved them, and they made me feel at home. Wards are such a great, and powerful tool that the Lord gives us. I know that wards are set up because of where people live, but I think that the Lord has a hand in placing us in neighborhoods with people that can greatly influence our lives. Some of the greatest people that I have ever met have come out of BH1, and I met some of my best friends at church. Going to your own ward is important.

Decisions, Decisions.

College is a turning point in so many people's lives. There are so many decisions that you have to make, and it's hard to keep them all straight. It's really easy to get confused as to what path you are supposed to take, where you're supposed to go, what you're supposed to study, whether or not you should serve a mission, whether or not you should get married while in school, etc.

In High School, let's get real, how many things did you really have to decide? Whether or not you should take ceramics first period so you can be late, or whether you should take it last period and leave early for the day? High School spoiled us. Any big decisions that High School threw at us were easy to turn over to the Lord, and ask for guidance because they were so few and far in-between.

College is a whole other ball game, kids! Through all of the decisions and Chaos I feel as though I sometimes took the great guidance that I could have received from the Lord for granted. Decisions that would have seemed like a huge deal in High School seem like miniscule, every-day things in college. One of the biggest mistakes that I have made so far in college is not turning over every single decision that I have had to make to the Lord. I mean, of course I turned to him about the HUGE things such as whether or not I should continue going to school and taking care of my grandma, or whether I should go on a mission. But when I think about it, had I prayed about which Anatomy teacher I should take from, maybe I wouldn't be re-taking the class right now. Maybe the Lord would have guided me to a teacher that I would have understood better. 

Taking every single decision that you have to make to the Lord will give you a huge advantage in the game of college.

Keep your friends close, your Family closer.

One thing that I know I've done right during this past year is make great choices when it comes to friends. Another thing that I'm so happy about is that right now I'm more closer to my family than ever. I can see in some of my friends who went away to college that being away from their families, and the friends that they had in high school has changed them a ton. I have been SO blessed because I have most of the same friends that I had in High School. I hung out with the greatest people in High School, and I'm so grateful that I have them to help me through these difficult college years. I strongly think that one of the hugest reasons that it's easy for college kids to fall away from the gospel is because of the people that they are surrounded by. 

-Story Time-

Okay, so like the weekend before college started Maddie and I, and maybe Doman (I can't remember) went to this party with Katie Wulfenstein up on Foremaster. It was supposed to be some kind of end of summer, beginning of college party. It was so ridiculous! It was one of those parties that, in high school, everyone would gossip about all of the crazy bad things that happened at. 

Moral of the story, if Katie ever invites you to some cray party of people that you don't know, just say no. HA. No I'm totally kidding. 

Moral of the story is that college is a time where everyone is looking for friends, and everyone wants to meet new people and do new things. (Just like I wanted to do by going to that party.) I'm lucky, because I already have a stellar group of friends, but to others who aren't as lucky as me, be cautious as to who you choose as friends, and where you let those friends take you. Not only are they a great support tool, and way to de-stress and vent, but they can also help to keep you doing the things that you are supposed to be doing.

•••

Okay everyone, now that I'm done telling you all of my personal experiences, I'll tell you what I learned from them. 

College can be a really, really hard time. Its a time where everyone will be tested, probably more than they ever have before. College is also an opportunity to grow a stronger testimony, gain some great experiences, and be a stronger person.

It seems like before, in life there was always someone to answer all of those fore-mentioned "enough" questions and statements. College is a time where you get to decide for yourself  what is enough.

It's such a liberating time.

It's an amazing learning experience.

It's the time of your life where you get to figure out your limits, figure out your purpose, and figure out what you truly want out of life. 

I promise you that the Lord will be there to help you every single step of the way, the only thing you need to do is your best, and I promise he will step in, as long as you are willing to utilize his help.

You are Enough.