If you knew something was your last, wouldn't you make the most of it?

Ask any one of my friends, and they'll tell you that I'm a sentimental person. 

I have been forever, and I just can't help it. It's built into me. I mean, I won't even let my dad get rid of his '88 Chevy, because I'm so attached to it. It's like a part of my dad. Except for it's really not, and that's something that I forget to factor in. 

I'm also really sentimental about all of my firsts and my last's. I think that's a big reason why photography has become such a huge part of my life. Photographs give you an opportunity to look back on important events. They help you remember things that you otherwise wouldn't have, and they create an archive for future generations to also have the opportunity to be a part of those special moments in our lives. Photographs give you the opportunity to re-live a moment in time.

I've come to realize that the next few holidays might be the last that I get to spend with my Grandma. They'll definitely be the last holidays that I get to live with her during, and that's sort of a big deal to me. I know that the next few months will be some of the last opportunities that I have to make memories with her, and I'm determined to make them meaningful and special. I mean... It's mid September, and I've already decorated for Halloween. I'm gonna milk all that I can out of this. 

My recent epiphany about my Grandma has had me thinking a lot about how I've been living my life. I've genuinely realized that every single moment of our lives is a gift, and it's up to us how we use those gifts. Too often I get caught up in things that I feel compelled to do. I have the hardest time saying no to things that I really don't want to do, and sometimes I say no to things that I do want to do for stupid reasons, like money, time, hard work, etc.

Now, I'm really lucky. I know that these next few holidays will potentially be my last with my Grandma, and I know that it's going to be important to me, and her, to make them special. But more often than not, this isn't the case. We don't know if an event, a day, a week, will be our very last. Life is so fragile, and we just never know what The Lord has planned for us. I'm not going to tell you that because of my recent thought process, I'm going to start living every single moment of my life like it's my last. That's just not even realistic, because I know that it more than likely won't be my last. I will tell you though, that I'm going to start thinking differently about the things I say, how I treat people, and how I act, and it will definitely be a huge factor in my decision making process. I also hope that this will help me realize what I really want out of life, and what's truly important to me.

I look back on the very first college-hating posts that I made on this blog, and I just can't help but laugh at how stupid I was. It also makes me a little sad. The first couple of years of college were probably the worst of my life so far. I just wish that I would have valued that time more, and looked for the positive things rather than the negative. I also wish that I would have at least tried to enjoy those experiences.

Changing my major to Art was the best decision that I've made in life so far. You wanna know why? Because it was for me. It wasn't something that I was pressured into. It wasn't something that I did because I thought it would make me the most money in the long run (goodness knows that certainly wasn't it). But I did it because I knew it was something that would make me happy. To be really honest with you, I attribute a lot of the person that I am today to that rash decision that I made almost two years ago. It's changed me so much, and for the better.  

I've realized that the big decisions that we make in life should be made as if they are our last and maybe more importantly, how we live our life should reflect on how we want to live our last moments. I really hope that I can keep this in mind as my next few big decisions come my way. I hope that I can start doing things, not because I feel obligated to do so, but because it's what I want, and it'll make me happy in life. I want to escape life with the least amount of regrets possible.

I know this sounds like a line from a cheesy Tim McGraw song, but If you knew something was your last, wouldn't you try and make the most of it? 

I hope that I do.

The "Feel-Goods". Lolz.

I've always had this image in my head about what it would be like to fall in love, and I won't lie, it looks quite similar to the scene above. Call me a pessimist, but I think that watching Disney Movies and a child sort of wrecked me for the real world.

I'm not really one to talk about all of this "love crap" that's what we're going to refer to it as for the sake of this nonsensical post. At least, I'm not one to talk about it unless you are one of my close friends (this means Maddie and Mikale lolz), and even then I don't really think it's love-talk, because I mostly just crush on 20 different boys every week. But it has just seemed to become a frequent theme in my life as of late. It might be attributed to the constant Marriage-Talk during Singles Ward, but it also might not. 

I've sort of realized that this love stuff might be a little more plain and simple than it's played out to be by our friend Walt. Now, don't get me wrong... I know that there are plenty of complicated factors which are also involved, awkwardness, age, location... to name a few, but I think when it boils down to it, it's as simple as you make it. 

So I've never been "in-love" with someone, mostly because it hasn't been convenient, or it hasn't worked out, or my favorite, and probably the most truthful excuse because I'm way too darn scared to admit that I have the "feel-goods" for someone. But I've had a lot of practice observing the love stuffs. And from my careful, thoughtful observation it seems like it just sort of happens, in the end. Which is cool, yeah? I mean... it doesn't always work out. Sometimes it's not meant to. And yeah, sometimes people work super hard to fall in love, or you know, convince someone else to fall in ♥ with them too? I think that happens sometimes. But I think maybe some of the coolest relationships that I've encountered just happen.

I'm not sure what I just did, but I think I just convinced myself that Disney Movies might actually be right. K, this was not planned, people. Maybe it is sort of meant-to-be kind of stuff. Maybe that's why it just happens. You know, like in Disney Movies. But you know, here's another confusing point to make... in most Disney Movies there's only one boy, and one girl, and that's just not really how it is in the real world. We have choices and that's maybe the best, and maybe also the suckiest part.

Well, in the end I guess the only people we have to count on to make sure that stuff ends up okay is The Lord, and ourselves. I'm not really sure what to think of all of this yet, but maybe eventually I will. And I know that I won't be able to figure it out without my Savior. I guess maybe that's why I'm not worried so much. I know he's got my back.

Well, I'm not really quite sure what happened here, and I'm not really quite sure what the meaning of this was. I think I wanted to get some stuff down, sort it out, and clear my head a little, but I think maybe I just confused myself even more about my current situations. 

Maybe another conclusion is that Love is also super confusing.

I think that's the most accurate one.

#Single5Ever