Blessings; see them for what they are, not what you wanted them to be.

-COLLEGE-

Over the past few months, this has been an extremely touchy subject in my life. I've been bitter about not being able to go where I thought I should have gone. I've been jealous of all of my friends whose lives seem to be progressing, while mine is still on pause. I've been selfish. 

I haven't taken five minutes to step back and realize how lucky I really am. I've been focusing and dwelling on where I thought my life should be right now, when my life is exactly where it should be. 

 

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Tonight I got the chance to go visit my best friend in the whole wide world at her new dorm in Cedar. I won't lie to anyone... I've been jealous of her too. Mostly jealous of all of her fun room mates, but her as well. Seeing her tonight gave me the opportunity to see and realize that even though we've both taken different paths, we're both going the right direction for us. I also realized that even though we don't get to see each other as much as we used to, we'll always be as close as we were when we did. I think that by taking that 30 minute drive tonight, I gave myself the closure I needed to move on and stop being jealous of something that wasn't meant for me. 

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I'm so blessed to be able to stay at home. I'm blessed because I'm getting an education for free. I'm living at home for free. I get to see my family every single day, which is something that I'm sure a lot of freshman in college wish they had. I get to see some of my closest high school friends multiple times a week. 

There are so many blessings that I've over looked, because I've been sitting here, bitter about what I didn't get. My life was on pause because I pushed the button.

-GROWING UP-

I think that one of the things that bothered me the most about not being able to move away for college, is the fact that everyone around me was telling me that it's the only way to "grow up". Since my Junior year of high school, it's been shoved down my throat that the only way to grow up, was to get out of town. THIS IS SO NOT TRUE! 

::ATTENTION HIGH SCHOOL KIDS::

You do not have to get out of town to"grow up". Growing up is something that comes with time, and it doesn't matter where you are. Growing up is about taking responsibility for yourself, and learning how to do things by yourself. Well... I've been doing this for the past four years! Just because I'm nineteen years old, and I still live with my parents while I'm going to school, doesn't mean that I'm not growing up. If anything, it means that I have grown up, because I saw a great opportunity to save money, and go to a good school, and I took it.

Growing up doesn't depend on location; it depends on mind set. 

::ALSO:: 

Don't tear the blessings that others receive down, to uplift yours. Everyone receives different blessings and circumstances for different reasons. It's not up to anyone to judge another person's situation, especially to make theirs look better. 

BE HAPPY FOR PEOPLE.

One of the stupidest things that I've done this year is be jealous of others. It has only made me feel bad about myself, and made me resent the other person. If someone gets exactly what they want, then you should be nothing but happy for them! Jealousy does nothing but hold other blessings back from you. Being jealous of someone else hurts no one but you.

Okay everyone, now it's up to you. If you're feeling bad about yourself, and you're constantly jealous of others, re-evaluate your life. Look for those hidden blessings that I know all off us have. You'll never be able to be happy for others if  you're not happy for yourself first.

Change your outlook on life, and it will change your life. 

p.s. another hidden blessing in my life... my computer shut itself down before I got to publish this post, but somehow, it was saved. The Lord looks out for everyone! What matters to you, matters to him.