If you knew something was your last, wouldn't you make the most of it?

Ask any one of my friends, and they'll tell you that I'm a sentimental person. 

I have been forever, and I just can't help it. It's built into me. I mean, I won't even let my dad get rid of his '88 Chevy, because I'm so attached to it. It's like a part of my dad. Except for it's really not, and that's something that I forget to factor in. 

I'm also really sentimental about all of my firsts and my last's. I think that's a big reason why photography has become such a huge part of my life. Photographs give you an opportunity to look back on important events. They help you remember things that you otherwise wouldn't have, and they create an archive for future generations to also have the opportunity to be a part of those special moments in our lives. Photographs give you the opportunity to re-live a moment in time.

I've come to realize that the next few holidays might be the last that I get to spend with my Grandma. They'll definitely be the last holidays that I get to live with her during, and that's sort of a big deal to me. I know that the next few months will be some of the last opportunities that I have to make memories with her, and I'm determined to make them meaningful and special. I mean... It's mid September, and I've already decorated for Halloween. I'm gonna milk all that I can out of this. 

My recent epiphany about my Grandma has had me thinking a lot about how I've been living my life. I've genuinely realized that every single moment of our lives is a gift, and it's up to us how we use those gifts. Too often I get caught up in things that I feel compelled to do. I have the hardest time saying no to things that I really don't want to do, and sometimes I say no to things that I do want to do for stupid reasons, like money, time, hard work, etc.

Now, I'm really lucky. I know that these next few holidays will potentially be my last with my Grandma, and I know that it's going to be important to me, and her, to make them special. But more often than not, this isn't the case. We don't know if an event, a day, a week, will be our very last. Life is so fragile, and we just never know what The Lord has planned for us. I'm not going to tell you that because of my recent thought process, I'm going to start living every single moment of my life like it's my last. That's just not even realistic, because I know that it more than likely won't be my last. I will tell you though, that I'm going to start thinking differently about the things I say, how I treat people, and how I act, and it will definitely be a huge factor in my decision making process. I also hope that this will help me realize what I really want out of life, and what's truly important to me.

I look back on the very first college-hating posts that I made on this blog, and I just can't help but laugh at how stupid I was. It also makes me a little sad. The first couple of years of college were probably the worst of my life so far. I just wish that I would have valued that time more, and looked for the positive things rather than the negative. I also wish that I would have at least tried to enjoy those experiences.

Changing my major to Art was the best decision that I've made in life so far. You wanna know why? Because it was for me. It wasn't something that I was pressured into. It wasn't something that I did because I thought it would make me the most money in the long run (goodness knows that certainly wasn't it). But I did it because I knew it was something that would make me happy. To be really honest with you, I attribute a lot of the person that I am today to that rash decision that I made almost two years ago. It's changed me so much, and for the better.  

I've realized that the big decisions that we make in life should be made as if they are our last and maybe more importantly, how we live our life should reflect on how we want to live our last moments. I really hope that I can keep this in mind as my next few big decisions come my way. I hope that I can start doing things, not because I feel obligated to do so, but because it's what I want, and it'll make me happy in life. I want to escape life with the least amount of regrets possible.

I know this sounds like a line from a cheesy Tim McGraw song, but If you knew something was your last, wouldn't you try and make the most of it? 

I hope that I do.

The "Feel-Goods". Lolz.

I've always had this image in my head about what it would be like to fall in love, and I won't lie, it looks quite similar to the scene above. Call me a pessimist, but I think that watching Disney Movies and a child sort of wrecked me for the real world.

I'm not really one to talk about all of this "love crap" that's what we're going to refer to it as for the sake of this nonsensical post. At least, I'm not one to talk about it unless you are one of my close friends (this means Maddie and Mikale lolz), and even then I don't really think it's love-talk, because I mostly just crush on 20 different boys every week. But it has just seemed to become a frequent theme in my life as of late. It might be attributed to the constant Marriage-Talk during Singles Ward, but it also might not. 

I've sort of realized that this love stuff might be a little more plain and simple than it's played out to be by our friend Walt. Now, don't get me wrong... I know that there are plenty of complicated factors which are also involved, awkwardness, age, location... to name a few, but I think when it boils down to it, it's as simple as you make it. 

So I've never been "in-love" with someone, mostly because it hasn't been convenient, or it hasn't worked out, or my favorite, and probably the most truthful excuse because I'm way too darn scared to admit that I have the "feel-goods" for someone. But I've had a lot of practice observing the love stuffs. And from my careful, thoughtful observation it seems like it just sort of happens, in the end. Which is cool, yeah? I mean... it doesn't always work out. Sometimes it's not meant to. And yeah, sometimes people work super hard to fall in love, or you know, convince someone else to fall in ♥ with them too? I think that happens sometimes. But I think maybe some of the coolest relationships that I've encountered just happen.

I'm not sure what I just did, but I think I just convinced myself that Disney Movies might actually be right. K, this was not planned, people. Maybe it is sort of meant-to-be kind of stuff. Maybe that's why it just happens. You know, like in Disney Movies. But you know, here's another confusing point to make... in most Disney Movies there's only one boy, and one girl, and that's just not really how it is in the real world. We have choices and that's maybe the best, and maybe also the suckiest part.

Well, in the end I guess the only people we have to count on to make sure that stuff ends up okay is The Lord, and ourselves. I'm not really sure what to think of all of this yet, but maybe eventually I will. And I know that I won't be able to figure it out without my Savior. I guess maybe that's why I'm not worried so much. I know he's got my back.

Well, I'm not really quite sure what happened here, and I'm not really quite sure what the meaning of this was. I think I wanted to get some stuff down, sort it out, and clear my head a little, but I think maybe I just confused myself even more about my current situations. 

Maybe another conclusion is that Love is also super confusing.

I think that's the most accurate one.

#Single5Ever

Things are not as they seem.

I think JD said it right. I think I'm past the point of complaining about how much less-cool college is than high school was. I've moved on from a lot of habits, experiences, and people, and it was well over-due. This semester I was forced to pick an educational path and follow it, and I couldn't be more happy with my choice. I went into this semester thinking that it was going to be the easiest piece of cake that I would ever put on my plate, but boy-oh-boy was I wrong. I had no clue how difficult art actually is. I had this huge mental breakdown the first week of school over a painting of a watch. Tears were involved. I'm actually really glad that it's hard though. I love a good challenge, and I can't stand to be bored, so it's for the better.

Also, can I tell you this weird thing that's happening to me? It is mentally impossible for me to currently procrastinate projects. Say what? I know, it's kind of awesome. I literally got so excited about an art assignment last week, that I had it finished before the day that we were even supposed to start it. Now, it wasn't a photography project, because naturally I get those done asap because I get so flipping stoked about them, but I was genuinely excited to draw this picture, or whatever it was. In retrospect, I'm stoked about the fact that I'm so stoked about art. I think it kind of solidifies that I'm doing the right thing, don't you think?

I think there might have been some people disappointed in me for changing my mind on what I thought I wanted to do with my life, and I was really worried about that for a good few months. Like, I was so pathetic. I wouldn't let my parents talk about me changing my major, because I was afraid of what people might think. But you know what I've realized? If I had stayed down the path that I was originally headed, I would be disappointed in myself for not doing what I've kind of always knew I should be doing. I've realized that no one's opinion matters to me about this choice more than my own, and that's exactly how it should be.

I guess the point of this all is to say to someone, or maybe more importantly to myself that everything is finally falling into place as it should be. I think I've finally found the part of college that everyone talks about. The part where you figure out who you are, and what you're meant to do, and you end up loving it. I've found the part of college that puts high school to shame! I'm finally giving myself the opportunity to be serious about something that I am so passionate about; and I'm super proud of myself, because after all of the hard work that I've done to put myself through school, and keep my scholarships, I deserve to do something that I love.

I can't wait to see what lies ahead. 

xoxo. 

So, College Really Isn't All That Bad.

(Sorry in advance... I don't have a photo depicting how great college is, so you get this photo of Maddie jumping on a couch in the desert. You're welcome.)

I feel like this whole blog has become an I-hate-college blog.

Well, I am here to tell you that it just isn't so.

(Fair Warning: When I say "College" I really mean College life... like I have stated before College, much like High School, is a state of mind for me. Social, Family, Work, School... everything is included.) 

I'll be the first to admit that the fact that approx. 95% of my friends are gone is a bummer. In fact I probably was the first, and the second, and the third (etc.) to admit it. I constantly complain about it... but the last couple of semesters have helped me realize that even though some of my friends were gone, all of my best friends are still here. The 5% of us who didn't go on missions are a pretty close group. In fact, some of the people that I went to high school with, but wasn't necessarily friends with, have become my friends, and it's great!

Secondly, I recently switched my Major to Photography and Design. I'm planning on getting my Bachelor's Degree in Photography, and then coming back for an additional two years to get my second associates as a Radiography Technician. The photography and art classes that I've been taking are so boss it's unreal! For example, I thought that I knew pretty much all there was to know about my camera. I mean I practically live on the dang thing, so I should right? I was wrong. Though a lot of the things that we learn in Beginning Digital are VERY basic, some of the stuff is actually quite interesting to me. I'm learning a lot of things that I never even knew existed. 

I'm also taking Film II for a second time, and I'm loving that class even more the second time around too. I absolutely love the teacher of the class, and I love the satisfaction that I get from taking a great film photo. Everything about film photography is so difficult. It's hard to expose right, to develop the film right, to develop a page right... there are so many factors, many of them chemical and it's hard to get them all right! Which is why it is so rewarding when you do get it right.

Be Glad At Life.

Okay, so now I want to switch gears a little bit...

I don't remember writing about it, but last semester I decided that I was going to finish the Book of Mormon, cover to cover. I was so sick of being so lonely, depressed, and confused about what I was doing. The night before Fall Semester started I think that I truly hit rock bottom. I was so discouraged about my social life, and my family life that in all honestly the only thing I had going for me were my grades. I knew that I needed something to help me through the semester, and since I had never fully read the good book, I decided it was time. Every single day of Fall Semester I read four pages of the Book of Mormon. I finally finished a few days before New Years. 

Now, I know that that last paragraph didn't really seem like it supports my topic of how great college is, but in reality it's just the opposite. Because I was so lost, I was directed to the Book of Mormon. Reading every word of it really changed my life. I now have a true testimony of the Book, and if it weren't for College... I wouldn't have that. I know it sounds really bad, but it's one of those situations that it took a trial to turn me to the Lord.

Case number two, the beginning of this semester sucked. (I don't know what it is about semester beginnings, but they always seem to be life-changing events.) I was, again, so depressed and I felt myself getting so agitated and annoyed at the people around me. It didn't matter who they were, or what they did, it made me mad. It was the worst! One night on my way home, I just broke down. I think that I prayed the best, most sincere, and most life changing prayer ever. My mindset about life was completely altered that night. The previous week had been one of the worst weeks of my life, and the following week turned out to be one of the best.

This is where "Be Glad at Life" comes into play... Sometimes you just have to take ten seconds, breathe, and let everything go. My yoga teacher (Yeah. This hick girl is taking a yoga class and she loves it.) said that what you think about, is what will come about. For example, if you think that you're going to get a crappy grade in a class, then that's probably what's going to happen; however, if you have faith in yourself, and just trust (in the Lord) that things will work themselves out, because you did your best, then chances are they will be. 

Okay... so here comes the finale of another one of my successfully random rants about what's going on currently in my life. Hopefully I got some sort of point across, and hopefully these words will be able to uplift someone out there.

Moral of the story is, life is what you make of it. So make it a good.

For more uplifting information about making the best out of life, visit the link below!

Come What May And Love It - Joseph B. Wirthlin

xoxo 

Grateful.

Things that, in the past, seemed impossible are happening in my life right now.

I can't help but look at the things coming to pass as miracles in my life. I am so blessed, and I am so grateful for everything that the Lord has helped me to work for. I'm so grateful for the strong relationships that I've been able to create with my family, and my friends. 

I think there's just something about November that makes us all realize how truly lucky we are. A couple of weeks ago in nutrition we were talking about third world countries where 18-month-old babies live on the street and fend for themselves because their mother passed away from AIDS or some other terrible disease, or even in giving birth to them. My heart aches for people in situations such as this, and I cannot help but feel selfish for complaining, and worrying about the petty things that I feel are challenges in my life.

 Although I can't help but feel that my problems are so miniscule, and that others are so worse off than me because I truly am the luckiest girl in the world. I do know that the Lord cares about every single person's problems, and even more importantly he cares about our individual feelings. This has been such a comfort in my life, especially in the past few weeks.

 Lately (more like my whole life) I've been so stressed out about getting into the classes that I want and getting my Associates, and getting into my impossible-seeming program. I know that the Lord cares about my education because I care about my education and I'm so grateful for that knowledge.

Every time that something goes wrong in my life the Lord also presents me with a new, amazing opportunity. Most of the time it's something that I've never even thought about before. I'm such a spontaneous person, so I totally understand why these opportunities are so off-the-wall. Haha. But either way, planned or not planned, I'm grateful for all of the opportunities that the Lord has blessed me with, and I'm grateful that he's helped me work hard to achieve everything that I've wanted to achieve up to this point.

I'm so eternally grateful for the parents that I was given. My dad is my literal hero. He is a walking encyclopedia of both secular, and spiritual knowledge. My family always jokes that because my dad never had a son, he had to do his best to work with me. I don't even care though! I'm grateful that he teaches me everything that he knows. I cannot wait for the day that something goes wrong with my car, and I don't have to call my dad to help me fix it. I want to learn all that I can from him so that I can pass on that knowledge to my children. My dad is the ultimate man, and I know that I'll marry someone who is just like him. 

I'm grateful for my mom too! She's always willing to help out, and she loves to try new things with me. She always pushes me to do my best and I would not be the organization-freak that I am today without her influence on my life. 

I'm super grateful for my friends. Even though I feel like I spend practically no time with them, they are the hugest blessing in my life. I'm so lucky to have friends who uplift me, and are great examples. I hope that one day I can be as great of an example to them as they are to me, because they are stellar. 

Strange as it may sound, I'm so, so thankful for the Word of Wisdom. I've literally tried to talk myself into bearing my testimony about it like the past two times in sacrament meeting, but I haven't been able to work up the courage. I'm so passionate about the Word of Wisdom, and I can testify to you that it's true doctrine from God. Because I've been learning about the body, and how things work, and what things do, I've gained so much knowledge about how harmful things such as alcohol, drugs, caffeine, and a non-nutrient-dense diet are to your body. One of my close, close friends just passed away from cirrhosis of the liver because of over-consumption of alcohol.

Putting the loss of my loved one aside, the Word of Wisdom is completely necessary for a healthy, happy, spiritually sound life. There are so many fragile things in the body, and it's amazing that humans can live as long as we can. When you think about it, there are people born with aneurisms that live into their 70's! Our bodies are fragile enough without adding on the stress of harmful substances. I'm so grateful for the Word of Wisdom, and I'm grateful that I have such a willingness to say no when I'm offered or tempted with alcohol and other damaging things. And trust me I have been.

I'm grateful to know that I'm never alone. I've felt super lonely lately... I drive alone, I cook alone, and I think that I talk to people in maybe 3 out of my 7 classes. I hardly ever see my family, and It's a rare, weekend-only occasion when I see my friends. I'm grateful for the knowledge though that I'm never alone in anything, and company is just a knee away.

I could literally go on and on about the things that I'm grateful for, but the bottom line is that I'm lucky. I'm lucky to have such an amazing life, and I have nothing to complain about. Life is good, and I can't wait for my next adventure whatever it may be.

P.S. Everything happens for a reason, and the Lord won't leave you hanging. Promise.

Unbelievable

Let's keep this short and sweet and get to the music. I've been traveling in a car for the past eight hours, which gave me plenty of time to reassess my top ten favorite songs. In no particular order... I give you ten of the best songs on my iPod.

P.S. I am not responsible for all of the crappy non-music-videos. They were all I could find, and hey, I'm just trying to provide you good music... not watching entertainment. ;)

Prehistoric - Now, Now

:: Okay, so I am in love with this song not only because it's melody embodies that high-school love story that every girl secretly wishes for, but because it's one of those songs that you don't need to understand to love. Trust me, I would know. I've read through the lyrics of this song at least a dozen times, and I still don't get it, however it's one of the songs I listen to every time I get in the car.

Look After You - The Fray

:: I'm completely obsessed with the Fray. I have just about every track that they've made, and I can sing all of them word for word (in the car while I'm by myself and at no other time.) This is without a doubt my favorite "Fray Song". I love it because... I mean, let's get real... is this not the epitome of what everyone wants out of a relationship? Someone to look after them, and take care of them, and someone that they can do that for.

.

 Even If It Breaks Your Heart - Eli Young Band

:: So you knew a country song was coming, because I'm a wannabe country girl. I love this song, because it's not about being in love. Okay, well it is... but it's about being in love with what you're passionate about. This song basically tells you to screw all of your doubts, and keep on going for what you want, "even if it breaks your heart", because if you don't... guarantee that you'll regret it.

The A Team - Ed Sheeran

::  Okay guys, come on. Try and tell me that you don't love this song too. When Mikale first made me listen to this song, I was so clueless. Then she explained to me what it was about, and I fell in love. I think that this is one of those songs that can change a persons life. It's so sad, and true, and eye-opening.

 Tiptoe - Imagine Dragons

::This song alone makes me regret not going to any of the Imagine Dragons concerts at GoGo while they were still a small indie band. This is one of my power songs! This is secretly how I want to be in life. I wouldn't be mad being that underestimated girl who makes her way to the top and nobody expects it. After all, "nobody else can take me higher" but myself.

Midnight City - M83

:: This song is one of those instant head-bangers. I listen to this just about every time I'm on the freeway, and I just want to rev up to 100. It's another one of my power songs. I'm a little obsessed with the transition from the bridge to the main melody too. Listen to it. How can you not just want to jump up and dance at that part?

Ohio - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

:: I think that this song has a great feel to it. I'm also a huge fan that it's a song about an actual historic event. It's like subliminal historical messaging haha.

DONE. - The Band Perry

:: This song is so angsty, and powerful! There are a few people in my life that I can apply it to as well. It's a song that can be applied to so many different situations, because it's so gender inspecific! It's a great song to listen (and sing (yell) ) to when you're angry at someone, and trust me I've used it many-a-time.

I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You) - John Mayer

:: This is one of those songs you can just sink into. I'm usually not a fan of this smooth-jazz-like music, but this one is irresistible. I'm pretty sure that John is a Music God, because he has the voice of a raspy angel. This song is like, hey, I don't trust myself with loving you, but I'm probably gonna do it anyway so deal. FINE.

P.s. Note that this song is at least 200x better as the "Live in Los Angeles" track, and in my opinion the only way to listen to it.

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer

:: This may or may not be my all time favorite song ever. Even the title is dreamy. John Mayer just has a way with words, and it's no wonder that he's won so many music awards. Listening to his music is like being brain washed, but in a good way. He can take all of my worries away

 P.s. Same applies to this song as the last... "Live in Los Angeles" is the only way to go. In fact, while you're at it just buy yourself the whole CD because it's so worth it. I've had it for years and I've probably listened to the whole thing over 100 times. Not exaggerating on that one.

Item Twenty.

(Here is a picture from high school for full effect)

 

20. Memories of the time that you label “the best time of your life,” which makes you consciously feel as though everything else you do won’t compare or will just be part of an overall downward slope.

I recently read an article that one of my facebook friends posted to her wall. It had a list of 25 things that you keep in your life that are only holding you back. Naturally I was intrigued by the title so I decided to give it a look. Now, granted at least 7 of the items on the list didn't apply to me at all, but as I read down the list I saw one that did.

 Number Twenty. 

It talks about labeling memories from the past as "the best time of your life" which makes all of your future memories less than that. If you know me at all, or have read anything else on this blog you can obviously assess that I was, and still partially am obsessed with my high school years. I seriously would go back; but number twenty made me realize that I can't think of it as the best time of my life, because my life isn't over yet. I have so much more to look forward to, and if I keep looking back, I'm going to miss what's happening in the present.

This was truly something that I had never thought about before, and it really opened my eyes. Lately I've been so pessimistic about everything, because even though I'm trying my hardest, it seems like it's never enough. Now I'm not going to go all psychologist on myself (mostly because I'm in Psych1010 right now and I flipping don't understand it) and say that all of my feelings can be attributed to the fact that I miss high school or anything, but I will say that maybe if I had a different outlook on life, and I started to look forward to things that are going to happen in the future, and even things happening now that my life might be a little bit better. Even if my life isn't a little bit better, I'm sure my attitude would be. 

Now I'm in no way saying that reminiscing is a bad thing because it totally isn't, but it can become a problem if you start to compare every situation that happens in your life to the "best times" of your past.

Everything happens for a reason.

Things will turn out as they should, and chances are that when you look back, things won't be as big of a deal as you initially thought them to be.

I bet you can even find something good that comes out of them.

P.S. Here are those 25 things. Maybe you can find a few to get rid of.

25 Things You Keep In Your Life That Are Only Holding You Back

I wonder if you actually get it.

College has taught me that you have to work really, really hard to get what you want. 

College has tried to make me think that sometimes, even trying your hardest isn't enough. 

I don't think that college is always 100% right.

Enough. That word has been circling around in my head for the past year. 

Have I studied enough?

Do I have enough hours at work?

I don't have enough time with my friends.

Math homework is enough to make me go crazy.

Is there enough money in my account?

Did I attend my own singles ward enough this month not to be considered inactive?

Did I look cute enough for that attractive boy in my history class to take a second glance?

Is a B a good enough grade, or should I re-take the class?

Am I worth enough to get what I want?

:I feel like College, for me, is a state of mind:

Doman and I constantly joke that if we're on our way to a class, and someone asks us where we're going, we always say "College." 

Whenever someone that I haven't seen in a long time asks me what I've been up to, I always way "Oh you know... just College." 

Before high school ended, people told me that often times, the college years of someone's life can be the hardest, and it can especially be hard to stay in tune with the gospel. 

Hold the Phone. 

Now, at the beginning of freshman year, I would have told you that this notion was bonkers. Sure, it's hard to stay in tune with the gospel because of all of the wild parties, and the fact that you're away from your parents because you don't "have" to go to church if you don't want to.

(Not True.)

I didn't think that I would have any problem, or struggle at all continuing to go to church every Sunday, and doing what's right. I'm still living in the same town as my parents, my friends and I don't like those kind of parties, and I love going to church, because I love the gospel.

Now, it's different for everyone but let me give you a little bit of insight into what my probs have been. 

 The Mission Change, and Attending Church.

The Missionary age change is one of the best, and most insightful things that I have witnessed come from the gospel yet, and I am SO proud of all of my friends that have gone on missions. In fact, I'm so proud of all of them that I NEVER want to miss one of their farewells. It's really easy to go to all of the farewells, especially because I go to school in town, and I have access to them every Sunday.

 •Let me first of all tell you that going to a sacrament meeting with your friends, and then going to someone's house straight after to eat and talk is a great thing to do. ONCE IN A WHILE.

Now me, being the supportive friend that I am, just had to do this EVERY Sunday. Sometimes even two, or three times a Sunday! I have been to so many missionary farewells in the past twelve months that I honestly probably couldn't tell you who all left. I sure as heck couldn't tell you where 3/4 of them actually went on their missions.

I am so supportive of anyone who goes on a mission, and I encourage going to their farewells to show them your support, but I also encourage attending your own ward.

I feel that I am at a huge disadvantage in my Singles Ward, because I know almost no one. I've been in that ward for a whole year, and I should already know everyone. A huge part of why I loved going to church, and attending church activities in high school was because I loved the people that I associated with. I knew them, I loved them, and they made me feel at home. Wards are such a great, and powerful tool that the Lord gives us. I know that wards are set up because of where people live, but I think that the Lord has a hand in placing us in neighborhoods with people that can greatly influence our lives. Some of the greatest people that I have ever met have come out of BH1, and I met some of my best friends at church. Going to your own ward is important.

Decisions, Decisions.

College is a turning point in so many people's lives. There are so many decisions that you have to make, and it's hard to keep them all straight. It's really easy to get confused as to what path you are supposed to take, where you're supposed to go, what you're supposed to study, whether or not you should serve a mission, whether or not you should get married while in school, etc.

In High School, let's get real, how many things did you really have to decide? Whether or not you should take ceramics first period so you can be late, or whether you should take it last period and leave early for the day? High School spoiled us. Any big decisions that High School threw at us were easy to turn over to the Lord, and ask for guidance because they were so few and far in-between.

College is a whole other ball game, kids! Through all of the decisions and Chaos I feel as though I sometimes took the great guidance that I could have received from the Lord for granted. Decisions that would have seemed like a huge deal in High School seem like miniscule, every-day things in college. One of the biggest mistakes that I have made so far in college is not turning over every single decision that I have had to make to the Lord. I mean, of course I turned to him about the HUGE things such as whether or not I should continue going to school and taking care of my grandma, or whether I should go on a mission. But when I think about it, had I prayed about which Anatomy teacher I should take from, maybe I wouldn't be re-taking the class right now. Maybe the Lord would have guided me to a teacher that I would have understood better. 

Taking every single decision that you have to make to the Lord will give you a huge advantage in the game of college.

Keep your friends close, your Family closer.

One thing that I know I've done right during this past year is make great choices when it comes to friends. Another thing that I'm so happy about is that right now I'm more closer to my family than ever. I can see in some of my friends who went away to college that being away from their families, and the friends that they had in high school has changed them a ton. I have been SO blessed because I have most of the same friends that I had in High School. I hung out with the greatest people in High School, and I'm so grateful that I have them to help me through these difficult college years. I strongly think that one of the hugest reasons that it's easy for college kids to fall away from the gospel is because of the people that they are surrounded by. 

-Story Time-

Okay, so like the weekend before college started Maddie and I, and maybe Doman (I can't remember) went to this party with Katie Wulfenstein up on Foremaster. It was supposed to be some kind of end of summer, beginning of college party. It was so ridiculous! It was one of those parties that, in high school, everyone would gossip about all of the crazy bad things that happened at. 

Moral of the story, if Katie ever invites you to some cray party of people that you don't know, just say no. HA. No I'm totally kidding. 

Moral of the story is that college is a time where everyone is looking for friends, and everyone wants to meet new people and do new things. (Just like I wanted to do by going to that party.) I'm lucky, because I already have a stellar group of friends, but to others who aren't as lucky as me, be cautious as to who you choose as friends, and where you let those friends take you. Not only are they a great support tool, and way to de-stress and vent, but they can also help to keep you doing the things that you are supposed to be doing.

•••

Okay everyone, now that I'm done telling you all of my personal experiences, I'll tell you what I learned from them. 

College can be a really, really hard time. Its a time where everyone will be tested, probably more than they ever have before. College is also an opportunity to grow a stronger testimony, gain some great experiences, and be a stronger person.

It seems like before, in life there was always someone to answer all of those fore-mentioned "enough" questions and statements. College is a time where you get to decide for yourself  what is enough.

It's such a liberating time.

It's an amazing learning experience.

It's the time of your life where you get to figure out your limits, figure out your purpose, and figure out what you truly want out of life. 

I promise you that the Lord will be there to help you every single step of the way, the only thing you need to do is your best, and I promise he will step in, as long as you are willing to utilize his help.

You are Enough.

Change is Good.

In less than a week, Christmas will be here! I've recently been reflecting on my memories of last Christmas... and even last year. So much has changed, and things just keep changing! Some of it is sad, but a lot of it is exciting! For the sake of nostalgia, I figured I should mention just a few of this year's biggest changes...

School- One year ago I was still in High School! High School was such bliss. In High School you have time for friends, you have time for your family (though too many high school kids take this for granted... I know I did.), you have time for a job, you have time for your FEELINGS. College is just a big old busy-fest. To any of those High School kids out there, bored enough to actually read my blog... ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS! I can honestly say that High School has been the best experience of my life so far. Take advantage of it! Be too busy. Be involved! Do everything that you want to do now, because I guarantee that you won't have any time for it in College.

Friends- Even though I'm still friends with many of the people that I was friends with last year, I've gained quite a few! If I can say one good thing about college, it's the fact that it potentially might help you to become closer and better friends with some people that you might not have really even known well in High School.

Family - A year ago... I completely took my family for granted. I'm going to be quite honest with you... I dreaded spending time with them! I had so much time on my hands, and a lot of it was spent at home, but I hated it. Now that I'm so busy, and I hardly get to see them, I cherish EVERY moment that I have with my family. My relationship with my sister has grown SO much over the past year. I even let her hang out with my friends and I. That's something that I would NEVER allow a year ago. I also used to hate helping my dad work on cars, and now it's one of my favorite things! I love spending time with my dad. I love learning things from him, and I truly enjoy all of the time that I get to spend with him! I've also been able to become a lot closer to my mom and grandma over the past year.

These are just three of the MANY things that have changed over the past year. Though I've lost a lot, and I miss the fun things that I used to be able to do, everything that's happened over the past year has made me a better, and more mature person. I really believe that. I'm so happy that I've been able to have the opportunity to go to college, not only because I know that I'm getting a great education, but because it's given me the opportunity to reassess the important things in my life. I've definitely rearranged my priorities over the past year, and that's without a doubt the best thing that's come out of all of this change.

Even though you might not think they're real, rainy days happen. No I'm not talking about days where it's actually raining outside, I'm talking about days that bad things happen unexpectedly.

So for Christmas I've convinced my dad to help me restore an old Yamaha Big Wheel that has been sitting in our back yard for the past ten years. He was going to pay for half of it, as my Christmas present, and I was going to pay for the other half, because it's going to be a spendy craft. Well... my plans kind of went down the drain the other day when BOTH of the front tires on my car went flat. I guess I never really realized it, but you have to replace them about every three years, and it came up quick! I mean, let's get real! Spend money on a car? Besides gas, I've never really had to buy anything, because my dad just has it all! I ended up spending $254 the other day, that was supposed to go into fixing my bike.

Now, I'm not broke... but right now I have a lot less money in my savings account than I'm used to having, and it's KILLING ME! All of those pairs of shoes, and swigs, and lunch dates with my friends are coming back to haunt me. I wish that I would have taken my dad's advice, and saved a lot more money than I have. I'm lucky that my "a-ha" moment wasn't completely financially devastating, because I know that it could have been, but trust me... I'll be saving a lot more than I spend from now on, because rainy days sneak up on you, and more often than not, they don't come with a forecast. 

Your day is only as good as you think it is.

College has helped me realize that positivity is key in life. Through a positive attitude, even the worst day can be made into a great one. Life is all how YOU look at it, people! And that's the truth!

For example; every single time I take a math 1050 test, I feel SO bummed out because "I jsut know I failed that test.", and it literally ruins my whole day. Now... most of the time I'm right (not kidding), but yesterday I tried something different. I went into my math test with a positive attitude. I had
Studied for about six hours (literally) the night before, and even though there were some things that I was worried about remembering, I knew that I had tried my hardest, and that was just going to have to be good enough. Unlike any of my other math tests, I answered every single question, and I'm pretty sute that I answered them right! I truly believe that my positive attitude had all the difference in my performance on that test. The rest of that day just kept on getting better and better.

I remember once in high school, this kid bore his testimony at a seminary Christmas lunchside, and it seemed like the "theme" (If a testimony can have a theme) of his testimony was "There's always someone else who is worse off than you are." If you think about it... this is true! I mean... sure... that friend that stole your ex-boyfriend from 6th grade is a HUGE jerk, but there are KIDS STARVING IN AFRICA! I'm sure you'd take the boyfriend stealing friend over going to bed starving. Oh, and p.s. a lot of them don't have beds to go to either... I bet you do.

and something that goes right along with this theory...

One of the best things you can do to get yourself out of a slump is to SERVE SOMEONE ELSE! Come on! I know you've heard it a thousand times, but have you tried it? Do you believe it? I can honestly tell you that it's true! I don't do it near as often as I should... but it does work! Especially with Thanksgiving coming up in T minus 6 days, it's the perfect time to test out this experiment! I dare you to serve someone else! Whether it be something big like donating money, canned goods, or time to a local shelter, or just doing the dishes for your mother after the Thanksgiving meal!

Hopefully someone, somewhere takes something out of this... and hopefully everyone has the best day ever tomorrow, because your day really is only as good as you think it is. 

-- Pick Two --

I never thought that "furthering my education" would limit me so much. I've always thought that college would be so... liberating, and create amazing experiences and opportunities for me. Though I'm sure that the great experiences and opportunities will start coming after years of hard work and devotion to my schooling, I'm getting worn out NOW!

I was recently stalkin' up the tweets, and I saw a retweet from a kid who said something like...

Pick two:
-Get good grades
-Have a job
-Have a social life


I just sat and thought to myself about how true this really is!

If I don't have a job, I can spend time with my friends and do homework, but I won't have any money.
If I don't do my homework I can spend time with my friends and have a job, but I'll have bad grades.

... now, because I'm way too responsible, I obviously choose the third option...

If I don't spend any time with my friends, I can have a job, and good grades, but I'll be, like, the loneliest person alive.

I know, I know. You're all thinking "wow, this girl is so pathetic; all she does is complain." That's not what I'm doing... (Okay, it is... but...) The point that I'm trying to prove is the fact that I have so much faith that by going to college, and keeping a job so that I have money to go to college, my life will be so much better in the future. I think it's amazing that so many people DO have this much faith, because college is hard! It would be so easy to just graduate high school, and start working a minimum wage job, and live with your parents until you get married. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, because for some people, that's the smartest way to go! But what I am saying is that I really look up to anyone who has the ability to choose the college path, and sticks it out till the end, because I'm just now realizing how difficult it is.

Kudos to every alumni from every college everywhere. The sacrifices that all of you have made for an education has driven me to want the same.

Blessings; see them for what they are, not what you wanted them to be.

-COLLEGE-

Over the past few months, this has been an extremely touchy subject in my life. I've been bitter about not being able to go where I thought I should have gone. I've been jealous of all of my friends whose lives seem to be progressing, while mine is still on pause. I've been selfish. 

I haven't taken five minutes to step back and realize how lucky I really am. I've been focusing and dwelling on where I thought my life should be right now, when my life is exactly where it should be. 

 

-
Tonight I got the chance to go visit my best friend in the whole wide world at her new dorm in Cedar. I won't lie to anyone... I've been jealous of her too. Mostly jealous of all of her fun room mates, but her as well. Seeing her tonight gave me the opportunity to see and realize that even though we've both taken different paths, we're both going the right direction for us. I also realized that even though we don't get to see each other as much as we used to, we'll always be as close as we were when we did. I think that by taking that 30 minute drive tonight, I gave myself the closure I needed to move on and stop being jealous of something that wasn't meant for me. 

-

I'm so blessed to be able to stay at home. I'm blessed because I'm getting an education for free. I'm living at home for free. I get to see my family every single day, which is something that I'm sure a lot of freshman in college wish they had. I get to see some of my closest high school friends multiple times a week. 

There are so many blessings that I've over looked, because I've been sitting here, bitter about what I didn't get. My life was on pause because I pushed the button.

-GROWING UP-

I think that one of the things that bothered me the most about not being able to move away for college, is the fact that everyone around me was telling me that it's the only way to "grow up". Since my Junior year of high school, it's been shoved down my throat that the only way to grow up, was to get out of town. THIS IS SO NOT TRUE! 

::ATTENTION HIGH SCHOOL KIDS::

You do not have to get out of town to"grow up". Growing up is something that comes with time, and it doesn't matter where you are. Growing up is about taking responsibility for yourself, and learning how to do things by yourself. Well... I've been doing this for the past four years! Just because I'm nineteen years old, and I still live with my parents while I'm going to school, doesn't mean that I'm not growing up. If anything, it means that I have grown up, because I saw a great opportunity to save money, and go to a good school, and I took it.

Growing up doesn't depend on location; it depends on mind set. 

::ALSO:: 

Don't tear the blessings that others receive down, to uplift yours. Everyone receives different blessings and circumstances for different reasons. It's not up to anyone to judge another person's situation, especially to make theirs look better. 

BE HAPPY FOR PEOPLE.

One of the stupidest things that I've done this year is be jealous of others. It has only made me feel bad about myself, and made me resent the other person. If someone gets exactly what they want, then you should be nothing but happy for them! Jealousy does nothing but hold other blessings back from you. Being jealous of someone else hurts no one but you.

Okay everyone, now it's up to you. If you're feeling bad about yourself, and you're constantly jealous of others, re-evaluate your life. Look for those hidden blessings that I know all off us have. You'll never be able to be happy for others if  you're not happy for yourself first.

Change your outlook on life, and it will change your life. 

p.s. another hidden blessing in my life... my computer shut itself down before I got to publish this post, but somehow, it was saved. The Lord looks out for everyone! What matters to you, matters to him.

Hey, you. GET OVER IT!

Why do us girls feel the need to linger on every little thing that other girls do, or say that offend them? Why do we let the small, unimportant stuff ruin our lifelong friendships? Why can't we just get over it and move on?

::NEWSFLASH::
Let's Get Real.

Why can't we just all be happy, and nice to each other? There is nothing more destructive to a friendship than lingering on something that doesn't really matter. If people brushed more of the unimportant stuff off, there would be half as many problems in the world today; I swear by it!

I can't tell you that I haven't ever done this, because I totally have! It just took me until now to realize that not just letting some things go, is one of the stupidest things that someone can do....

So, in 8th grade I had this friend. We were BEST friends. We used to do everything together, and we used to have so much fun. I liked this boy, and my best friend knew it, but she started to "go out" with him anyways. No one told me. I found out about a week later, and as soon as I found out, all heck broke loose! I wouldn't talk to her, I wouldn't hang out with her, and I wouldn't forgive her.

Even though my friend did a really, really crappy thing to me, it's my fault that we weren't friends after it happened. I could have chosen to forgive and forget, and not let a stupid BOY get between us, but I did, and because I did, I lost a really great friend. Now, we both had really great friends in high school, and we were cordial to each other, but we missed out on so many memories because I wouldn't just let it go.

::ON THE OTHER HAND::
Why are girls so mean to each other? We know how it feels to be judged. We know how it feels to be disliked, so why do we put that upon other people when we know how badly it hurts? Again, I can't say that I haven't done this either, though I can't think of a specific instance, but I hate that it happens. It's unfair to everyone in the situation. NO ONE feels good about it in the long run; and for the person who is putting this undeserved hatred onto another person, you might feel powerful now, but in the long run, Karma will come back to get you, and I know that to be true.

Everyone, it's just not worth it. Lingering on stupid things like "who got the boy" or something that someone said without thinking, just isn't worth it. The best way to deal with a situation like this is to simply, get over it, forgive, forget, and move on.
also,
Be nice whenever possible, and it's ALWAYS possible. 

"The Savior made a clear connection between being forgiven of our sins and forgiving others who have wronged us. Sometimes the wrongs others have done to us are very, very painful and very hard to either forgive or forget. I am so grateful for the comfort and healing I have found in the Lord’s invitation to let go of our hurts and turn them over to Him. In Doctrine and Covenants, section 64, He said: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say . . . let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds” (D&C 64:10-11). Then we must drop the matter completely, letting the Lord take it from there, if we desire to be healed." Elder J. Devn Cornish